After The Valley star Janet Caperna revealed she was a victim of sexual assault on last night’s episode of the show, she took to her Instagram to pen an emotional open letter to her followers.
During the latest The Valley episode, Janet opened up to co-star Lala Kent about an incident that she experienced back in high school.
“When I was in school, I had a situation happen with another boy [who] put his hands on me,” she explained. “And I just pretended like it was some sort of, like, consensual hookup. In reality, it was not.”
“I didn’t even really realize what this was until a year ago. There was a therapist who said to me, ‘This is sexual assault,’” admitted Janet in her confessional.
Last night, Janet took to her Instagram page and wrote, “I want to be really transparent because today it really hit me that what I shared is going to be out in the world to be judged, talked about and picked apart. Something I spent my childhood trying to escape and run away from is now out there on millions of screens to be digested and I fear that the thing I desperately ran away from and didn’t want attached to me will now follow me forever, everywhere I go.”
Janet noted she didn’t expect it to “hit” her so hard, as she had months to prepare for this to come out on TV and decades of “working through the trauma.”
“But nothing can really prepare you for the date arriving,” she confessed.
“I planned on talking to family and friends that I never told about this before it aired, and I failed,” she continued. “Many people I know, love and trust will hear my story for the first time on a reality TV show instead of directly from me. And I’m sorry to those that had to hear it this way. Making my planned round of calls and telling people in person proved more than I could handle. I chickened out. I didn’t want to take a beautiful day and darken it with my trauma.”
Janet admitted it “really hit” her that this is real, and as much as she wishes she could “stuff the words back” into her mouth and “deal with the pain that keeping it all in caused” her since she was 12, “what’s done is done.”
“Now my story is yours,” she added. “And the control freak inside of me is losing it thinking of what you will do with my story, how it will be shared and talked about, how I will be viewed after everyone I know and many strangers will handle it.”
“I spent today not being able to move,” she elaborated. “Quietly crying when my son was distracted. Sick to my stomach and having to ask Jason to pick up my slack and step away from work to do the daily tasks I usually do without thinking.”
Janet then addressed her “fellow survivors,” admitting it’s a word she is still “uncomfortable” using for herself.
“Please know that on your hardest days, you are not alone,” she stated. “And I can’t help but think how unfortunate that is. That so many people share this pain and experience. That others have days like today where they feel paralyzed and debilitating pain because of another person’s violating actions.”
Janet claimed she “never imagined” what she went through would stick with her for so long, but 24 years later, she still feels like the “little girl” she was when this happened, and she is “unable to fully process it.”
“Letting it leak out in the form of anger when I least expect it,” she continued. “Wishing it would just go away. But it never will and I’m still coming to terms that what happened one night 24 years ago is still very much a part of who I am today.”
“I dealt with what happened that night in the dark under the fluorescent lights of school for years in the form of name calling, relentless bullying and judgment,” Janet revealed. “For me, that was worse than the act itself. My biggest trigger is the reaction many have to this sort of trauma: victim blaming, punishment for speaking up, taking sides and all of the ugliness it brings out of everyone involved. And I have obviously not always handled those triggers well. And to those that watched and felt the wrath of my anger, I am so sorry.”
Janet concluded by thanking her mom for “doing everything she could” to help her, and her husband, Jason Caperna, for his “unwavering love and support.” She also showed gratitude toward her “family and friends,” including Lala and Jasmine Goode.
