For decades, Peter Kay has made Britain laugh with his warmth, wit and painfully relatable humour. But in a startlingly candid confession, the comedian has revealed one of the most painful — and frankly traumatic — episodes of his life.
In his new book Peter Kay’s Diary, the 52-year-old opens up about undergoing emergency surgery for a massive kidney stone, an ordeal he says caused “major trauma” and left him in agony — physically and emotionally.
A train journey that changed everything
In the March entry of his diary, Peter recounts a distressing episode from several years ago, when what began as a routine train journey quickly spiralled into a medical emergency.
Travelling from London Euston to Wigan, wearing a Covid mask, Peter was suddenly struck by excruciating abdominal pain, forcing him to sprint to the toilet mid-journey.
Two days later, the pain returned — this time throbbing through his lower back. After frantically searching his symptoms online, the answer became clear: a kidney stone.
Soon after, a CT scan at his local hospital confirmed his worst fears.
“It turned out I had a big stone blocking the exit of my right kidney,” he wrote.
“F**k a duck” — the diagnosis no one wants
Peter explained that the urologist reassured him — but quickly followed it with devastating news: emergency surgery was required, along with the insertion of a stent to preserve kidney function.
“My pre-op bloods confirmed his suspicions that my kidney functions were deranged,” Peter wrote.
“As shocked as I was, I felt weirdly relieved — it wasn’t hypochondria. Something was actually wrong with me.”
But the pain, he admitted, was beyond anything he had ever experienced.
“Kidney stone pain is legendary,” he wrote, describing sobbing uncontrollably and making “high-pitched whining noises” in the hospital ward.
The moment of realisation that broke him
Peter’s ordeal took a horrifying turn when doctors explained how the stone would be removed.
There would be no external incisions.
No cuts.
No stitches.
Instead, a tiny camera — fitted with a laser — would be inserted internally.
That’s when it hit him.
“Then the penny dropped,” Peter wrote.
“Oh my God… he means he’s going in through the hole at the end of my penis. My world collapsed.”
He continued in disbelief:
“It’s out of bounds. Private land. Area 51. A camera won’t fit up there — let alone one with a laser. Was this guy on glue?”
Unfortunately for Peter, the doctor was entirely serious.
To add insult to injury, his anaesthetist reportedly asked for a selfie moments before putting him under.
“A walk in the park”… apparently
The surgery was successful, but Peter’s nightmare wasn’t over.
For a week afterward, he endured severe pain every time he went to the toilet — until he was called back to have the stent removed… via the exact same route.
“The urologist said I didn’t need pain relief,” Peter recalled.
“He said it would be a walk in the park — though I don’t know which parks he walks through.”
Describing the removal, Peter wrote that the doctor grabbed him “like he was handling a snake,” causing his eyes to bulge “like a cartoon character.”
A small hook was used to extract the stent.
Peter howled.
“It was painful, unpleasant and a dreadful experience I never wish to repeat,” he wrote.
“Ever.”
A reminder of how common — and dangerous — kidney stones can be
According to the NHS, kidney stones affect more than one in ten people, most commonly between the ages of 30 and 60. If untreated, they can cause severe pain, infection and even kidney damage — exactly the symptoms Peter experienced.
From hospital trauma to honeymoon horror
In another deeply personal chapter, Peter also reflects on a very different kind of shock — his honeymoon.
He and his wife Susan married just days before 9/11 and were holidaying in Mexico when the attacks unfolded. At first, Peter admits, he thought the footage on TV was from a film — until the reality became undeniable.
“All joy evaporated. All music stopped,” he wrote.
“We were in paradise while the world was falling apart.”
Flights were grounded, the resort fell silent, and the couple were stranded for six extra days before finally returning home.
“The passengers clapped and cheered when we landed in Manchester,” Peter recalled.
“Such a relief — though no one would feel safe for a long time to come.”
Pain, fear — and humour intact
Despite the trauma, Peter tells his story with his trademark honesty and dark humour — turning deeply personal suffering into something strangely relatable.
Behind the jokes, however, is a reminder that even Britain’s funniest voices endure moments of real fear, vulnerability and pain.
Sometimes, laughter really does come from surviving the unthinkable.
Source: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/
