Louise Thompson has shared one of the most emotional chapters of her life, revealing that the severe trauma she suffered after giving birth left her unable to properly bond with her newborn son, Leo.
The former Made In Chelsea star, now 35, has spoken candidly about the devastating aftermath of her near-fatal childbirth experience in 2021, admitting that during the first months of Leo’s life she could only spend around five minutes a day with him because of overwhelming post-traumatic stress.
“His Crying Was Incredibly Triggering”
Louise welcomed her son Leo with fiancé Ryan Libbey following an emergency Caesarean section that nearly claimed her life.
Reflecting on those painful early days, she explained that every interaction with her baby reminded her of the terrifying experience she had endured.
“I found it painful and difficult to engage with him in those early moments – he was associated with what had happened, which was hard for me to process.”
She also admitted that hearing Leo cry often triggered intense emotional reactions.
“His crying was incredibly triggering to me, which sent me into a dissociative state.”
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Louise Thompson has revealed how her struggles with severe Post-traumatic Stress Disorder after the birth of her son left her struggling to bond with her baby
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The former Made In Chelsea star, 35, almost died while giving birth to her son, Leo, four, in 2021 following an emergency caesarean
Instead of enjoying those precious first moments of motherhood, Louise found herself battling severe PTSD and postnatal anxiety while trying to recover from unimaginable physical injuries.
A Birth Experience That Nearly Cost Her Life
Louise has previously spoken about feeling that her concerns during pregnancy were not fully addressed.
She said she had worried about her petite frame and her baby’s size, yet was reportedly advised against an elective Caesarean section and was even encouraged to consider a home birth.
When she eventually went into labour, Leo was unable to pass through her pelvis, leading doctors to perform an emergency C-section.
During the operation, an artery was accidentally damaged, triggering a catastrophic haemorrhage.
Louise lost around 75 percent of her blood, while medical teams spent approximately four hours fighting to save her life.
Only days after returning home with her newborn son, she suffered another severe haemorrhage and was rushed back to hospital.
Over the following weeks, she endured repeated bleeding episodes, sepsis, pneumonia and multiple surgeries, spending long periods separated from Leo during the crucial months after his birth.
“That Was What Death Looked Like”
When Louise was finally discharged, the emotional scars remained.
She recalled spending hours alone outside her London home, unable to be indoors with family, including her own child.
“I sat in that garden for eight hours at a time during my recovery, in the middle of winter, wearing a massive coat, staring into space.”
“I couldn’t be inside with anybody. Not even my child.”
“I couldn’t think… That, for me, was what death looked like.”
Her honest reflections have highlighted the often-hidden psychological impact that birth trauma can have on new mothers.
Campaigning for Better Maternity Care
Rather than remaining silent, Louise has transformed her painful experience into a mission for change.
She has become one of the UK’s most prominent voices calling for improvements in maternity care and earlier this year launched a petition urging the government to appoint a dedicated maternity commissioner.
The campaign reached an important milestone this week after Baroness Valerie Amos recommended creating the role in her independent review of maternity and neonatal services.
For Louise, the recommendation represents hope that future mothers may receive safer, more compassionate care.
Grieving the Pregnancy She’ll Never Have Again
While continuing to recover physically, Louise has also opened up about another deeply personal heartbreak.
Because of the complications following Leo’s birth—including diagnoses of lupus, Asherman’s syndrome and other long-term health issues—she has revealed she is unable to carry another baby.
She and Ryan are now preparing for a £50,000 IVF journey and hope to expand their family through surrogacy.
In a heartfelt Instagram post, Louise admitted she has found it increasingly difficult watching friends announce second, third and even fourth pregnancies.
She stressed that she feels genuine happiness for them, while simultaneously grieving the experiences she believes she may never have herself.
“You are not alone, and you are not a bad person for feeling two things at once. Joy and grief, love and longing, pride and pain.”
She described those conflicting emotions as existing side by side rather than cancelling each other out.
“I Still Feel a Little Broken”
Louise also shared that she has not had a menstrual period since giving birth nearly four years ago and continues to live with lasting physical complications.
Looking back at her life before childbirth, she admitted she never realised how much she had taken her health for granted.
“It’s crazy to me that I used to function like a totally normal human.”
“Currently, I still feel a little broken inside.”
As memories of the happier moments of her pregnancy have slowly returned, so too has the grief of knowing she may never experience carrying another child.
Despite everything she has endured, Louise continues to speak openly about birth trauma, maternal mental health and the realities many families face behind closed doors—hoping that by sharing her story, other women will feel less alone and that meaningful improvements to maternity care can continue.
